Retrospect

It is the first week of July and a lot of activity and changes are happening around me. I hurt my knee about 2 weeks back and was bed ridden completely for some days. This is one part of my life I hate so much, lying helplessly on my bed. I have to request my mom/bro even for a glass of water. Doing nothing and surviving this pain day after day isn’t all that easy. Doctor says that this time I have hurt my knee very badly. Far more than anytime in previous years and that could be dangerous. But, Im just banking on the fact that like previous years, this time too, my injury should heal up fast.
I had told about the injury to her too along with some of my other friends. Some close ones called immediately or in a day and that was the end of the formality for them. Frankly, I never expected anyone to give me a call once again until a week is over or we get to next weekend(present day). But, I had expected at least one call/msg in a day from her. But, she is too busy with her assignments and college. So much so, that all her replies these days fail to reach second line of display in my cell. I felt bad and I told her this. But, she replied saying she knows her priorities. I wonder how much time does it really take in a day to drop in a line. And even if she asks,the only thing that comes from her side is a msg like dis :” Hi,How are you?”
I don’t know how to reply to this, I don’t know whom to complaint to about her. She comprises my complete world. And as a result, I spit it out on her completely. I told her each and everything that I feel. After all, she is supposed to be my best friend. If I don’t tell her, then who could I turn to.But, there was no reply from her side. Not on day one ,not on day two and neither after a week. May be she was too busy to eat even. And I agree to the fact that she was busy. But I too needed her at this time. Her assignments and classes are more important for her than a 5 minute communication with me. I know she would refute this statement, but I also know that what kind of a person she is when she has work around herself.

I would have never expected her to give me a call or msg me had I not been injured. But, may be this was the time I needed her the most. And not only because I was injured, but also because Im mentally so down these days. My brother is supposed to leave for Australia in about 2 weeks from now. Its not that I have never stayed without him before, but this time around its so different. He is going to a different country all together. He may not be back for 2 years. It was such a tough decision for my parents to send him after what all has happened with us. Its like putting a boat, when there is a storm in the sea. But, for my bro, they did it and he is scheduled to leave soon.

And as a result of all this, there were many things to be told to sunshine, but they all have gathered dust, lost significance of time and may soon be buried inside me. It feels to me that my life is slowly and steadily taking away from me everything and anything that I love. I already have a very bad career, though I don’t admit it, but yes, its really bad. Sunshine has left almost and so is my brother. I would have been able to express myself really better had I written this post some time back. But since, Im writing it in hindsight, there are many emotions that are left unsaid.