Revelation

It finally happened. Something that was with me for so long got passed to megi. In a jest of matter, I told her that I love someone. She was more than offended that how come I haven’t told her about it. I defended by saying that there was never an appropriate time for it. Even though we were chatting online, she wanted to know everything and I was abstaining from it. I told her that lets meet tomorrow after my office and I would tell her everything. She debated a lot, but finally succumbed to my obstinate behavior. We met about 2 days back. We went to CP and took seats in a coffee house. Our conversation started as usual with normal talks, with me picking on everything that she does. Mocking her and making fun of her. But it was not long before we moved to the more serious topic. I told her everything right from the scratch to the present. The story wasn’t short enough to remain seated and by the time I was ending it, we were back in her car, on our way back to her house. But, it was more than a story that I told her. It was a complete burst of emotions that came out. I don’t even remember what all facts I told her. There was a deafening silence when I ended. I knew there were tears in my eyes ever since I started this conversation, but didn’t realize that they have come out in large numbers. A number good enough to wet top end of my collar. And just when I looked at megi, I realized that she was crying too. She had tears in her eyes, waiting to come out…..It was almost similar to what happened when I told this to Shailja in Pune. The only difference being was probably of the place and of the advices they both offered.
Probably megha had answers to many of her questions now….She now knows why did I ever let kajal go and date somebody else, she knows now why I didn’t do anything about it even when almost everyone thought that things are workable. She knows now why do I have sudden mood swings, why on a given day I am completely quiet, and why on some days I don’t even talk to her properly.
And most importantly she was finally able to connect all my recent decisions and words to my actions. She knew why is that I have decided to run away. What is the reason that I have decided to write GMAT. What is the reason that I have given up all my plans to start my dream business here in India. What is the reason that there seems to be no desire left in me to fight the world and succeed.
She was always against my decision and her opposition to the whole thing is now stronger. Almost everyday since then to today she has asked me to think again, to reconsider my decision. She rightly says that running away is not the solution. She was trying to come to a more rational choice. She said doing this won’t solve any problem. There was just one thing that I told her, to which she probably had no answer. And then, she stopped outright opposition. Though her sarcasm still continues, but she doesn’t oppose me outright.

“Running away might not be a solution, but sometimes that’s all you can do”